The Promise of
God
Her-Story
In the past I would try to hate people.
They would do something and I would pretend they didn’t exist, only to be
left with the echo of hurtful scenes replaying over and over in my mind.
In the beginning it felt as if I was on
Turge Cycle or in the middle of a huge tornado. All I could do was to try and
keep my balance. Then I’d step out of the way and see the storm reflected
beside me and it would grab and drag me back in.
I began to see that everyone is so tender,
trying to do their very best. I'd look at everyone in my life I had “divorced,”
starting with my dead grandfather (he left first,) and would begin my exit
strategies not to have to suffer the rejection I felt was sure to come.
Having dealt with a broken ankle for over
three month, I have gained a perspective on things: try as I might to hate
someone for hurting me, I eventually get back to love. It can take time.
Non-engagement in the drama is a practice. Saying sweet
things takes the sting away.
It begins with the self. When I finally got
that this was all coming form me: that I was the author, and took 100%
responsibility, then and only then could I work out what the meaning was for
me. If I absolved all the players in my drama, then I could step back from the
emotion and see what it was that made me require the experience I was having.
Wishing everyone well in a situation,
working through what is at the heart of the misunderstanding and getting back
to a place of empathy, love, forgiveness and compassion. As it is “all about
me” this is the only place to begin to unravel the knot in the pain body.
As healers the best of us are wounded ones, having been through pain and suffering in order to come out the other side and see the construct of dis-ease at what ever level it is and be able to shine our light in the dark places inside of us where these “energies” dwell.
Behind every injury or illness is a construct
of that event existing within us from the past waiting for our recognition.
Within the pain is the treasure of understanding and from that, comes
compassion and release.
As we become clearer within ourselves the
light that is within us radiates outward encompassing or creating an opening
for healing to occur. We don’t do the healing for others but rather create the
environment for healing within us. Behind this lay the “peace that passeth all
understanding.” That is what suffering brings us. It brings us to the space of
surrender where we let go and allow the intelligence that lives within each
cell of the body to arise and partake in the dance of life: the love song that
reverberates throughout the cosmos in our name.
Nothing to Do
We have become a society of “doers” when in
truth Being-ness is the appropriate response. To learn to Become is not a doing
of any kind. It is a practice that leads to grace. It’s rather like looking at a
visual puzzles until the picture emerges out of the chaos. Heath, love beauty is all there waiting for
our recognition.
Life is Duality
The distinctions are there, like a razor
that pares away the dross, the unnecessary, the unlovable, bringing us to our
core light. Rather than doing anything about it at all, we merge into it, from
the depths to the light. We bring our darkness with us as the treasure we
unearthed in embodiment. No were to go, nothing to do, to unearth the Treasure
Within.
Field of Wounds
I had a vision of a Field of Wounding
oozing with red and green with puss
stretching out over a plain covered in a black tornado. The wounds were
countless hurts lodged in the body of consciousness and covered over by a
terror-provoking maelstrom. To the left of the field stood Quan Yin, Goddess of
Compassion, and the first Buddha. She was dressed in blue gossamer. In her left
arm was cradled a pot of healing water.
She said, “You don’t have to be terrified.
Choose one wound and go in, one at a time.”
I went into a wound were my father was sitting
in his deep nubbly chair, pointing at his wrist watch saying “What time is it,
God Damn it!” I pulled him down on to the ground in front of the fire and said.
“I love you,” hugging him close to my heart.
Step Aside
This is the reaction we could have for all
tyrants, who are really unhappy people underneath it all. Rather than run away,
hiding the hurts in the very cellular memories of our bodies, or condemning
them and thus becoming like them, we can step up to the plate and offer our
compassion, our Selves, our Hearts. Sometimes it's better to step aside, and let
the “Turge Cycle” run on, knowing that they are just doing their best to stay
upright and find their balance. Better yet: stay out of their way!
There are many things we can admire in
someone who is going through tough times: their courage for one. We are truly
christened through submitting to these experiences in order to wake up within
them and perceive the glorious potential of what we are as The Promise of God.
contact: mary@holdenhealthcare.com for a session
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