Re-Member Your Self Beautiful

 I figure I am traveling backward through my 20’s. I am about 24 years old but my mind is ancient. I have the calm and the knowledge of an elder and I see you coming to me with your anxiety. Up all night on speed and ecstasy having drunk so much so as not to feel the rising panic. Sweating and shaking and you are only 18.

I say, “just take three days away from it all.” You feel great and now it's the weekend and you dive under the waves again, forgetting what it took to get you feeling good, and so the cycle repeats.

You shout over each other getting louder and louder. You took three days off and became clear and pure again. But the minute it ended you drank your coffee and you ate your wheat and cheese and now you are tired and lethargic again. Can't get out of bed. Irritated and angry, shouting and not listening when you were at yoga and you had it all. You had vibrancy and excitement and idealism. Now you are stuck again at the bottom of the trough.

I am here to remind you that when you lose your practice, or when you have no practice, you are lost. Practice is just that. You do the exercise, the routine. until Grace catches you up and it is a rock to stand upon. Breathing in itself is a great practice. Being present to the breath. That breath that is gifted at birth and leaves at death. Breathing is brilliant.

The mind will continuously be busy. It will think this and that and none of it is important. Stillness is important. Presence is important. Being calm and real and feeling the wind and sun on your skin. Not running away from feeling but being real and present and here.

I need you to hear. I need you to stand with me in order to change the unconscious, programmed, mind-numbing, hypnotic trance we've been encompassed by. Thrill-seeking, addictive, repetitive spell… let's be spell breakers.

If you have all your wits about you, you would not harm yourself or each other. We have been lock-stepped into a societal self-destructive pattern in order for those to harvest our basest emotions. These things live and they are able to be harvested and taken in order to feed a bottomless pit of darkness.

No matter what the name you call it: religion, media, government…step outside of it. Step outside of the norm. Get outside the box. Refresh yourself. Use that reset button. Come back and discover who you truly are.

You are Good at Center. You are Whole and Holy. You are the only one capable of getting yourself out of this prison. How? Through stillness, practice, and discipline. It will take you there, to yourself, and you are beautiful. Don't take the pill of escapism just for a momentary opening only to have the door slammed in your face. You get a glimpse of beauty and then it's ripped away. Make beauty ever-lasting. Become beautiful.

(Written 2016 after time in Ibiza as Chef at Finca Organica) Mike Poser - I Took a Pill Last Night- Ibiza

I Must Have Every

 

I must have every self-help, DYI, “How To” book on health and spirituality. I have taken countless workshops. The idea of passing along another lecture or doing a workshop just tires me out!

There are many roads to Mecca, paths to God, diets, and practitioners to point the way. I am only one Way Shower and my sincerest hope is that there is something in my story that will strike a chord within you and we can then begin the journey together to discover where you are, and what is your deepest wish for yourself, your life and your world.

I'm not going to tell you anything. You tell me.

What's holding you back, standing in the way, preventing you from stepping into the life you want? Awareness is the first key to unfolding a path into Well Being: I mean Well Being in every sense of the word. I don't mean fixing anything. I mean revealing your juicy core, your true authentic self, your mission, your passion, and your light. Whether that means unraveling the traumas that have brought you the fine suit of amour you currently wearing: defensive words, thoughts, and a body you don't like or trust. And it's not your fault!

It is said you have to take 100% responsibility for the reality you are creating, but that doesn't mean beating yourself up. Everyone has their own rhythm and style, their own timing, and their own unique signature that makes them who they are and beyond those experiences and labels is freedom! If you start from the resistant point you will get more resistance. It's just the way the universe works. It's the separation of judgments, anger, fear that are the pain points. We get to tame them like a wild tiger. No poking and provoking.

I am going to tell you my story briefly. I am going to share with you the tools I gathered in my journey that helped me. You may have more to contribute and I will have a resource page for further investigation. But for right now I will tell you a story about Mary:

I was born in the USA to two educated fairly sophisticated parents who were deep into their own realities: mum into God and Dad into business. We lived in an affluent neighborhood in a small town. I went to public school, suffered incest from a grandparent, and was very precocious later to be very promiscuous: during my 20's (goes with the territory of sexual abuse).

I neither knew I was beautiful nor knew I was smart. I did poorly in school. I cried a lot! While I matured into a very smart and beautiful girl, inside I felt "bad!" I felt worthless and a failure. No matter how hard I tried to please my parents and then the multitude of boyfriends, I felt like the portrait of Dorian Gray: one day the rottenness would come outside for all to see.

That never happened.

I went through my 30's being a married woman for 5 years. I tried marriage three times with no good result. I gave birth to an absolutely stunning human being, who today is living a successful life in a committed relationship.

What lingers? The sense that somehow my sexuality is broken, although I am well past menopause and have been single for almost 18 years! I took a vow to be celibate and I dream that I am celibate and I feel free being celibate. Not for everyone, but good for me!

love me now. It took almost 70 years! From the time I was 41 years old to now I made a heartfelt pledge to "Get To God No Matter What!" I tried everything: Holotropic breathwork, Dynamic Meditation, Tantra (nonsexual) Shamanic Journey Work - with and without plant medicine, massage, hypnotherapy, permaculture, traveled to exotic places, and met scores of interesting people.

I think the most influential and transformative practices and experiences have been being part of the Birth of The Universal Human with Barbra Marx Hubbard; Moving to New Zealand and studying at Wellpark College of Natural Therapies - Yoga, Yoga Therapy, Ayurveda, Ho'opponoppono The Huna Science of radical forgiveness and compassion, and my horse.

We can't do this on our own. We get to become aware: to see and feel so that we can agree on the kind of world we want to live in as sovereigns. We have created every facet of this moment and, only in this moment, is there the opportunity to do anything at all about that experience as the Creators. Love is the only thing that moves or changes anything. Starting with Self.

First of all, let us investigate:

1. Where am I now?

    A. Take time to describe how you are feeling, your judgments joys thoughts on yourself. Tell me your story briefly here.

   B. Physical State of Being Now: Health Assessment

    C. Who am I truly without judgment and labels and criticism?

You can draw, you can do a vision board, or write. You can sing! Be creative!!!

2. Who am I?

    Get quiet and let the answers come. Look in a mirror and gaze at yourself. Take a big piece of paper and colors and draw your essence.

3. What is my mission?

4. If I could wave my Magic Wand what would I change?

5. What am I supremely happy with about myself and my situation: describe what works and want doesn't work. (Make a T cross on a big piece of paper and first write down what doesn't work on the left and what does work on the right.)

I'd love to see pictures, hear your voice, meet you in person or on the internet. Whatever works for you. I want to connect with you, feel you, and know you. We are like super sleuths collaborating on discovering the Mystery of YOU. You've got an ally, a friend, and a companion on this journey. I can't walk it for you but I can definitely support you in the way you see yourself going forward (and even in the stuck places!). Especially in the stuck places cuz that's where the treasure lies!

 With all the information coming at us through the internet I first thought: “Oh this is cool. I’ll just make a video and start spouting off about all the stuff I know” …. but there are so many talking heads out there. How to sift through to the gold?

Another thing is: how do we want to support our artists and those in the “gig” economy? With “social distancing” and quarantine the only way we can see our favorite artists is online. They need our financial support.

Many hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of us, have lost our livelihood - all concerts, workshops, and yoga classes have been canceled or postponed. I hear, “how are we going to entertain ourselves?” Wow! Is life about being entertained? Are we little children that have to be entertained? Or are we being “sent to our rooms?”

I like the idea that being confined or sent to our room is actually a Doorway to the Sacred found within us. With all the “entertainment” we’ve been lulled to sleep with…that bedtime story of "happily ever after." With all the things we use to distract ourselves, to numb ourselves out, to escape through addictions. to food, entertainment, sport, and so forth. Where are we now?

Are we shut up in our cells or are we being invited to see the open doorways? People in captivity actually grow from creating relationships with their inner life by contemplating, focusing, and thinking about what they love. Victor Frankl writes in his book, The Meaning of Life“ “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

For the past 30 years, I have immersed myself in practices that take me to “My Room.” In that room I have found my voice, my Inner God if you will. Through singing, I have connected to Holy Name that is beyond description. I’ve done it alone. In many rooms. No one wanted to get up early. No one wanted to explore the inner depths where ultimate freedom exists as “Us,” or the calling to Be versus do. But I did.

The Way Beyond

Elder Wisdom - The Way Beyond

If you feel anxious and uncomfortable do you turn away or look further? Best to go through to the core of it because in Circular Science it will come around continually until embraced and then another problem comes forward. This is all of life: a quest, a "Hero's Journey," as Joseph Campbell called it. People have been pointing the way forever and no one really listens until their attention is caught: by troubles or by picking up the signs. If you are unconscious the tip of the spindle will prick you. In this case, it is the motion and the activity that is the deception and the lie. What is Truth is The Way Beyond.

If all of this life is movement, what happens when you stop? When does one stop pressing into and creating drama or resisting? It is in the "Gap" where the motion stops, or the breath stops. The Gap is where possibility exists. It is a crack in the solidity of time, of being, in that certainty of solid ground where there is nothing to stand on but opening, allowing the Beautiful Graceful Beyond. It happens at the peak of orgasm and it happens in meditation or contemplation or in activities that take you into “The Zone.” It is a form of Grace that you can’t buy, take a workshop on, or achieve from something you do. It’s nothing you deserve. It comes in its own time as a gift of recognition and turning towards the One.

In the end, we are in an Ever Present Now. There is No-Thing else. Only memories. Creating positive uplifting memories is part of it, as well as accepting, embracing, and diving into the Shadow where the treasures lay. “Life is suffering,” as the Buddha said. There are other ways: with dharma and practice, you can get into the driver's seat and orchestrate a life that is, in reality, a Revelation From Within. Reveal yourselves!!! Get in touch with the things that are actually calling to your heart and go there. Be that. Just do it. Just Be it… whatever that looks like... whatever it takes.

.

Maryma

July 23, 2019

One Heart Ocean of Love

Dream:

Situation: A group is in a large building made of glass - an enemy without. 

"How will we defend ourselves and win the battle?" I ask.

"You don't overcome your enemies you transubstantiate them."

Interpretation

Engaging in a struggle, whether it is outside or inner, building a fortress of flesh or armor, putting up a defense, or sticking your head in the sand, putting up a fight, struggling with it night & day. All of this is unecessary. 

The Antidote

Sit with what ever is bothering you.  What you focus on creates the world you live in. This is your House. 

Enter the middle of the storm, sit in silence, in stillness, meditate upon the situation or condition until it reveals itself to you. See it & Re-Cognise-it as your own. Find the thorn lodged against your heart & let it do its work. 

This One Life is for the Self-Sacrifice of the Body to form. Salt is the Mater-ial element and water is the Solvent, the Wave, the E- motion the dissolves all into The Ocean of Love

- Channeled Writing adapted from 9/10/2009

Living Light Houses and The Inner Net of The Heart

We are the Living Light Houses, positive attractors that draw those who would have us to our hearts which shine like beacons in the dark night. 

As we become more and more ourselves: authentic and authenticating, as we drop more into our hearts and become more of what we love and that which we tap into, we cease to exist for those who are caught in the fear-based world - to the ones who are the controllers. They do not see us: they do not value what we value nor do they speak the same language.

 As David Icke says: “The Spell is being broken. We are living in a different reality.” Our eyes have been opened and we see them but they see us not. We hear their hollow words but they can not decipher our song. We sing a love song that is a reflective Uni -Verse  One love song sung in our Note, our Frequency,  an a-Tune-ment ,  an at-One-ment coming from Source which has no beginning or end.

As we gather on the Inner and reach out to one another there is an attraction and we hear the call. As we sit in meditation and commune with nature, as we commune with our inner Self and the outer reflection of each other, we tune into that small voice that has been constantly broadcasting a love song from the Heart of Hearts. We embody and amplify that in-tuition, that inner Teacher. 

We are it. Tag one another in your communities and unite heart to heart. Nothing can overcome the Love Re-volution ( turning once again to who we have come here to be - as a re-member-ance, a calling back the parts to Whole-I-Ness.) We turn to face ourselves and one another and sing our Hearts Songs, dance our hearts out, create together as One Love Song. This is beyond anything that can be bought or sold. This is the reason we are here: to recognize one another and bring forth our gifts, our warmth, and connect to the Inner Net of our Hearts. 

The Promise of God

The Promise of God

Her-Story

In the past I would try to hate people. They would do something and I would pretend they didn’t exist, only to be left with the echo of hurtful scenes replaying over and over in my mind.

In the beginning it felt as if I was on Turge Cycle or in the middle of a huge tornado. All I could do was to try and keep my balance. Then I’d step out of the way and see the storm reflected beside me and it would grab and drag me back in.

I began to see that everyone is so tender, trying to do their very best. I'd look at everyone in my life I had “divorced,” starting with my dead grandfather (he left first,) and would begin my exit strategies not to have to suffer the rejection I felt was sure to come.

Having dealt with a broken ankle for over three month, I have gained a perspective on things: try as I might to hate someone for hurting me, I eventually get back to love. It can take time. Non-engagement in the drama is a practice. Saying sweet things takes the sting away.

It begins with the self. When I finally got that this was all coming form me: that I was the author, and took 100% responsibility, then and only then could I work out what the meaning was for me. If I absolved all the players in my drama, then I could step back from the emotion and see what it was that made me require the experience I was having.

All Is Well

Wishing everyone well in a situation, working through what is at the heart of the misunderstanding and getting back to a place of empathy, love, forgiveness and compassion. As it is “all about me” this is the only place to begin to unravel the knot in the pain body.

As healers the best of us are wounded ones, having been through pain and suffering in order to come out the other side and see the construct of dis-ease at what ever level it is and be able to shine our light in the dark places inside of us where these “energies” dwell.

 Hold Up Your Light

Behind every injury or illness is a construct of that event existing within us from the past waiting for our recognition. Within the pain is the treasure of understanding and from that, comes compassion and release.

As we become clearer within ourselves the light that is within us radiates outward encompassing or creating an opening for healing to occur. We don’t do the healing for others but rather create the environment for healing within us. Behind this lay the “peace that passeth all understanding.” That is what suffering brings us. It brings us to the space of surrender where we let go and allow the intelligence that lives within each cell of the body to arise and partake in the dance of life: the love song that reverberates throughout the cosmos in our name.

Nothing to Do

We have become a society of “doers” when in truth Being-ness is the appropriate response. To learn to Become is not a doing of any kind. It is a practice that leads to grace. It’s rather like looking at a visual puzzles until the picture emerges out of the chaos.  Heath, love beauty is all there waiting for our recognition.

Life is Duality

The distinctions are there, like a razor that pares away the dross, the unnecessary, the unlovable, bringing us to our core light. Rather than doing anything about it at all, we merge into it, from the depths to the light. We bring our darkness with us as the treasure we unearthed in embodiment. No were to go, nothing to do, to unearth the Treasure Within.

Field of Wounds

I had a vision of a Field of Wounding oozing with red and green  with puss stretching out over a plain covered in a black tornado. The wounds were countless hurts lodged in the body of consciousness and covered over by a terror-provoking maelstrom. To the left of the field stood Quan Yin, Goddess of Compassion, and the first Buddha. She was dressed in blue gossamer. In her left arm was cradled a pot of healing water.

She said, “You don’t have to be terrified. Choose one wound and go in, one at a time.”

I went into a wound were my father was sitting in his deep nubbly chair, pointing at his wrist watch saying “What time is it, God Damn it!” I pulled him down on to the ground in front of the fire and said. “I love you,” hugging him close to my heart.

Step Aside

This is the reaction we could have for all tyrants, who are really unhappy people underneath it all. Rather than run away, hiding the hurts in the very cellular memories of our bodies, or condemning them and thus becoming like them, we can step up to the plate and offer our compassion, our Selves, our Hearts. Sometimes it's better to step aside, and let the “Turge Cycle” run on, knowing that they are just doing their best to stay upright and find their balance. Better yet: stay out of their way!

There are many things we can admire in someone who is going through tough times: their courage for one. We are truly christened through submitting to these experiences in order to wake up within them and perceive the glorious potential of what we are as The Promise of God.

contact: mary@holdenhealthcare.com for a session